"Doctor, Doctor" jokes

"Doctor, Doctor" jokes have been around for hundreds of years. Some researchers found some in the world's oldest surviving joke book from the third century. So they date back to at least ancient Roman times.

Doctor, Doctor, I've broken my arm in two places.

Well, don't go back there again then!

Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me out!

Certainly! Which way did you come in?

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me.

One at a time, please.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a telephone.

Well, take these pills and if they don't work, then give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor, I've swallowed my pocket money.

Take this and we'll see if there's any change in the morning.

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.

Well, pull yourself together then.

Doctor, Doctor, I dream there are monsters under my bed. What can I do?

Saw the legs off your bed!

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge.

What's come over you?

Oh! Two cars, a large truck and a coach.

Doctor, Doctor, I'm becoming invisible.

Yes, I can see you're not all there!

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar.

Don't worry! You'll soon change!

Doctor, Doctor, I can't see a thing! What should I do?
Put on some glasses!

If you enjoyed these jokes, see my next post, "More jokes".